UUU: "Reading Seed"

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Cast: Kiera (TC) and Seed (Deme)

TLDR:

Support Points Earned: 2

TastyChicken12:

=== Start RP === Kiera got up on another morning at the Dragon's Domain to go see Seed for her lessons in literacy, as had been normal in the last few weeks. She was still chronically late getting up, and her penmanship still unsightly, but surely memorizing the... was it nineteen letters? Or were there more? Prolly more, she ponders to herself as she walks to the meeting place where she meets her Florkana teacher. "Mornin', Seed," Kiera says as she sits down.

LadyDeme:

Compared to their previous camps, this area allowed them to use an actual table for their lessons, which were...Certainly coming along. Dipthongs had reared their heads, and were being grappled with with the other letters. Seed had his books on the subject opened out across the table, as well as the workbook Kiera had been using -- she'd left it behind last time. And a cup of tea, steaming into the air with twists and curls and curves, before rising up to join the faintly misty morning air. Seed was jolted from his thoughts contemplating that steam, that mist, and the pale sunbeams that were gradually cutting their way through the morning air by her greeting. He was not sure he could have perfectly put to words what had been on his mind. He would give it a game try later, but it might just have been a rare moment of perfect stillness. Now the day would begin in earnest. He gave a little wave, setting his cup back down onto the table with a clink. "Good morning, Kiera."

TastyChicken12:

She takes her workbook from Seed and looks up at him and ponders to herself. These questions were not remotely regarding history, but their relationship. I reckon he knows an awful lot more about me than I know about him. It's like, I prolly couldn't tell someone where my own teacher's from, yet he knows all about Manx, an' Casey, an' all that 'bout my own home. Hm... "Say, Seed? Could we, uh, put off this thin' 'till later? I was wonderin' if we could just talk instead. I've been doin' some thinkin' alone lately." ... hm... Nyrandisa said she didn't want to let people know who she's got a crush on. Know it ain't Jet, am pretty darn sure it ain't Zain. Suleiman's married an' gots a kid. So I guess that leaves Seed, Himaya, Daniel, and Ayer. Though I dunno if I've seen mucha Ayer. One of the other three, then.

LadyDeme:

An unusual request, but Seed's hands were moving to close the rest of the books before he'd really decided. For one, it would let him enjoy his tea a bit longer. For another, he could only rarely fault the desire to be sociable, except for those times he perhaps really needed it. And perhaps he did need it, now. Things had been strained, recently, and he'd been considering the dilemma he'd put people in. And so the Florkana nodded, settling into his seat. "What's been on your mind?"

TastyChicken12:

"I dunno anythin' aboutcha. We've been doin' all these lessons so I can read an' write, an' yet, through all this, I can't name anythin' I know aboutcha. Couldn't tell a soul where you're from, what you like to eat, what family ya got. But all this that I dunno, ya know about me. Ya know that I got a son and two parents lookin' out for their grandkid, that I like beer and fish, and that I'm from a sleepy ol' town in Northern Ramalia. I just think it's weird, 's'all."

LadyDeme:

Ah. Just that dilemma, wasn't it? It was something of a relief -- it was a lot of a relief -- to have a chance to rectify things, in a chance where he honestly had an opportunity. Seed shifted in his seat a little, picking up his teacup to busy himself as he considered where to begin there, unravelling it out. "I suppose I have been....Rather reticent...Unfortunately," he added, thinking about that somber conversation. He sighed and took a sip of the tea, letting himself sink into the mint scent of the tea for a bit. "Allow me to correct some of that, at least. It's not as if I mind anyone knowing about some of this, not really... For starters, I think it's safe to say I have no family, not in the way a Beorc would mean it... Not in the way a Florkana would mean it, either, I suppose." His smile dropped, and he shrugged. It was easy to hide the pain of that, almost reflexive, save for that he delivered it without his usual emphasis. He paused. "Do stop me if this is not what you had in mind."

TastyChicken12:

"Naw, it's alright, Seed! I get havin' a different sorta family situation, y'know?" she says while bending her arms under her chest in a way that looked like she was rocking an infant.

LadyDeme:

Seed nodded, giving her a wry smile for a moment. True, true. But that situation was so opposite his that it brought back to mind perhaps the reason that was the matter he'd answered to first: that gnawing envy. He thought of his resolution, and looked down into his cup for a while, before draining it quickly, as if it were his own brand of liquid courage. Here he offered up as if it were less wild, less maddening, that it at times felt. And, towards Kiera and hers, it perhaps was less dramatic. Though, maybe, still a knife. "True, you do...If I had to be frank, though I know full well it's not without its worries, I envy your situation. Or Casey's, or, I suppose, both; I... get just a little jealous of families, children who are loved by their parents, and parents for having that love, who've made a family where I've... never had that success. There have been times that I've ... come close to having a family, but there's always been a final gap I cannot cross." He lowered his head a little, hiding his embarrassment under trembling branches. Yes, there had been his volunteering courage, admitting something that, frankly, disgusted him -- and he expected her to be disgusted by, for that. "Ah, I suppose that's perhaps. A little too grave, and odd, and, well. I'll leave it to you to ask what you want to know."

TastyChicken12:

Kiera actually smiled at his response. Seed envied her?! Seed- the man with eloquent speech and great knowledge of the written word, was envious of an impoverished, more-or-less displaced villager from a forgotten people in a forgotten country. "Seed... that's awful sweet of ya to say. Most people don't wanna be in my position. An' I gotta be a bit cold here, it probably would've been for the best that I didn't have a son so young. But I did, and as ya said, you see people have sucha fierce love for their kin. At this point, Casey might as well be the world to me, so..." She stops and pauses, thinking that rambling on about how much she loves her son probably would only make Seed feel worse about his lack of family. "... anyhow. What's the issue ya got with startin' yer own family? I reckon you're older than me, you can actually write, and you seem up to the task! You as you are now would be... a HUNDRED times a better dad than my sons's dad is."

LadyDeme:

He smiled, lifting his branches a little off of his brow to reveal that the color was a bit more pronouncedly green than usual. That bit of envy remained there, but it was easily brushed aside for the moment, buried under praise he could lap up like a kitten. "Ah, well. Thank you," he said, smiling to himself. "Well, in terms of a child of my own body... It just hasn't happened yet. I could fruit that way, one day, but... It's not exactly in my hands, at least not without a partner willing to manage some careful pollination." He wondered how much of Florkana anatomy Kiera understood, and felt the need to pause to consider this; she might think that he was being euphemistic; he couldn't blame her. It had taken him a while to frankly understand all matters of Beorc sexuality, and in turn to figure out how Florkana normally saw these matters, though he'd always rather understood the mechanics. "I should make sure we're understanding each other here -- do you know very much about Florkana anatomy? Or, for that matter, plant reproduction?"

TastyChicken12:

"... no. I just know that when you plant seeds and water 'em, they grow," she says with a shrug.
August 26, 2018

LadyDeme:

"Ah, the simple version is, most plants -- and most Florkana -- use things like bees or the wind to pass pollen from one individual to another, and use that to create seeds, and thus things like fruit. Not all fruit of Florkana produces Florkana -- we can generally tell the difference," he added, considering the fact that he was nearly finished this period of blossoming, and would need to think of something to do with the fruit soon enough. It would be awkward if people got the wrong idea. He paused for a moment, and considered the question of having children from another angle. "Perhaps because of how indirect it often is...it's normally custom for Florkana to raise their community's saplings together. Even I help with that, a little. I tell stories, that sort of thing; even a few I've written. I... I think it would be nice, if the little growing ones thought fondly of me, as they developed." He commented, smiling thoughtfully. His fingers drummed over the table, for a moment, as he looked at some wistful distance. Sometimes it still hurt, the shock of realizing what could have been his, and even now, in the echo of it. Never as badly as that first, sudden drop. And yet, there he went, on days he had an hour free and there was a sapling capable of listening to him read. Fondly, and kindly, and always feeling like he was somehow sneaking into -- however usefully -- a world that was not his. He wondered if any of the older ones might have even missed him, but he doubted that. They often understood -- there was a gap.

LadyDeme:

"I think I'm still an outsider there, though. Perhaps it just cannot be helped. And...There were times I thought it might be possible for me to have a wife, adopt a child..." And here, his smiled became a little more bitter. He shook his head. He had said that to Marcia once, hadn't he? Not exactly a proposal; not exactly not a proposal. But not the sort of way Marcia wanted to have a child, either. He played with a flower that, jarred by the earlier motion, had fallen near his face, up by his brows. "As I said. A final gap I could not cross. So that is how things are with me, I suppose."

TastyChicken12:

Kiera scratches her head at this, trying to compare this strange, foreign custom of parenting to Beorc culture. "Well... I can't really wrap my head around a whole tribe of people raisin' the same group of kids as if they were all parents. Though I reckon there's some sayin' among humans that 'it takes a village or pack to raise a child' or somethin' of the sort. I can see what they mean- I can't teach everythin' to my own kid, after all," she comments. She averts her gaze for a second to looks sideways, thinking about what Seed had said regarding having an individual wife and child. "Why can'tcha cross that gap? Or what is the gap? Personal? Ya just don't feel romance quickly?"

LadyDeme:

"It's not a singular thing," he said, squirming. He had meant it broadly, at least initially -- the gap between himself and the neighborhood was different from that between himself and Marcia, or between himself and Father Cornelius; or perhaps it was not, and the deficiency was deeper than all those superficial stories, all those superficial failures. But this. This, he knew. He turned his head away, unable to face her head-on. If he had tea left in his cup, he'd have stared at it. Now, all that was left was the thin, glossy sheen left behind, with a tiny golden sliver of liquid, perhaps no more than a drop. "No, nothing like that. This was someone...Who I still very much love... Hers was not a love I could keep; I know what she said. I don't know what the deciding factor was." He rested his face in his hand, his throat tightening. "She was lovely... She was a Branded, and perhaps that was why it did not work -- she wanted things of me I could not truly understand, and could not give. Or maybe it was because I was too poor to give her the life we both know she deserved. I'm successful as a writer, but that's not worth a lot... It sounds opportunistic of her, I know, but... She looked so sad, then. And so beautiful, bright as a fresh layer of snow."

LadyDeme:

His eyes watered as if blinded by that brightness. Even this, he treasured. That near-last moment, as she shone in the darkness of the moment. It had not been raining then, but the darkness of another midnight had bled into his room; she'd fiddled with her hair at first; she couldn't look at him. And she smiled, when she explained what was possible for her then: what Seed was not sure had ever come true for her, and hoped had. Her hands had been so warm, wrapped around his. His breath came out wrong, oddly strained, as he said, "...If I had known some way to keep holding her hands forever, I would have. But...That wouldn't have made her happy. I never could have." What a worthless half-thing he was. "I hope I did, in going on without her." I didn't do right by her, though.
August 27, 2018

TastyChicken12:

"You still love... this special woman you once knew? At least to me, it wasn't real clear whether she was your girlfriend or just a friend, but I'm guessin' ya just feel inadequate? Maybe?" she asks with her voice trembling throughout, concerned for Seed.

LadyDeme:

Hearing the worry in her voice, Seed quickly checked to see if any of the tears welling up in his eyes had escaped -- mercifully, they had not. He blinked a few times, until his vision cleared. "I'm fine. Really. It's...Still a sad memory for me. She was my girlfriend, for a while...Until she became a man's fiancée. Actually, one of the reasons I joined this mission was because I was...worried, about her. Right now, it looks like my worries were misplaced. And that's good." It hurt that it seemed like he would not see her again -- but it was better than seeing her doing wrong, being at risk... Better than her getting hurt. Better than having to, if she could not see reason, strike with that little awl Sally had given him, intended to render her paralyzed on the battlefield, where she could be considered too incapacitated to hurt anyone, and left alone. About himself -- his feelings -- well, it would likely just worry Kiera more if he said that. It was what it was. "Anyway... I suppose that's what one could say about my family life prospects for the present."
August 28, 2018

TastyChicken12:

"I see..." Kiera comments, not knowing much else to say. "You ain't the only one who's fallen away from a boy, er, girlfriend. Though, for me, it was in a... you know, I know I kinda badmouth the guy a lot, but I did actually like him... er, my boyfriend, that's they guy I'm talkin' 'bout, prior to a certain point. If I didn't, well, Casey wouldn't have been born. I started to hate him after a while since he was awfully rude to me. Started callin' me stupid and weird and such. Anyhow, yeah, him and I split and I'm the parent left with Casey. It's probably for the best he's not... around. But in your case? Ya said ya still love her. That probably stings an awful lot, and I can only feel for ya." She considered mentioning Nyrandisa after his comment of, 'about my family prospects for the present', wondering if Seed is the one she is interested in. After pondering it over in silence for a few seconds, the young mother simply shakes her head at the notion. Now wasn't the time to bring it up, and if they actually got together, she figures that everyone would know extremely quickly. Gossip spreads at a speed comparable to that of light. "So... uh, I guess, sorry."

LadyDeme:

"Right, though I am sorry to hear how cruelly he treated you, in that regard," Seed said, nodding sympathetically. They'd discussed that some last time, hadn't they? That feeling, while it hadn't entirely gone well, was not wasted... He wanted to tell her not to apologize, but that rather wasn't the point, was it? It was sympathy, and easier to accept. "Thank you... I won't say it doesn't hurt, but I can't say I would trade it, either. I suppose that is part of love, or, at least, part of my feelings about it. A precious and arcane thing...irresistible as season's turning." Putting it in those terms seemed to set the Florkana at ease: yes, even if it didn't serve him, it was still valuable to him. Even if he wished, one day, to be able to move forward, he did not think he would stop. He cast about and found that, in the time he spent thinking about these matters, his cup of tea had not magically refilled. This was very sad. "Would you like to continue our talk over something, or get to work?"

TastyChicken12:

"I reckon we oughtta actually get some work done. But one last, quick, teeny thing. I think we're both right 'bout love. We can't stand bein' away from 'em. And it hurts. But it don't mean love is bad."
August 29, 2018

LadyDeme:

"It absolutely does not... One's capacity for love, I think, grows with practice; with meetings and partings, with finding that love, however unreturned, in your heart. It grows your world; it leads to new loves." He said, waxing contentedly as he once again flipped open the workbooks, their pages fluttering, leaflike, in punctuation with his statements. There were sad things, too, to love -- disappointments and opportunities you found yourself turning away. That did not make it worthless to have. He found the page best-suited to review last things, a few simple words and sounds laid out on a long section. "Alright. Let's see what you recall from last time..."

TastyChicken12:

"Well..." Kiera started. === End RP ===

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