UUU: "Confessions"

Cast: Nyra (Netha) and Seed (Deme)

TLDR:

Support Points Earned: 2

[12:32 PM] NethaEmerald: Nyrandisa had been waiting near her tent for a small while now. Keeping an eye out on everything moving near to her, she was running through many thoughts. Some of them were about the fantasy of what she had been told about becoming pretty, though she wasn't in quite a mood to do so right now. Some of the thoughts were about Neraida. She missed her home a lot. It was very comforting to be around those of the same race since they all knew each other well. That wasn't to say she didn't like the other races; that was far from the truth. It's just other Jera gave her a warm, homely feeling. However, the rest of the thoughts were of what she had written to Seed about wanting some one-on-one to talk to him. Despite what she had claimed, she was still a little anxious about it. What if things went wrong? How would she handle it? What if- No. She needed to have confidence and take things in stride. During her waiting, she was reading something from a book. It was the old Jera folk tale she had worked to re-write, though from a third-person point of view, instead of a first-person view. She was looking to see if she had forgotten anything.

[12:52 PM] LadyDeme: Seed wasn't exactly sure what was coming; it gnawed at him. He'd messed up last night, let how easily his optimism dropped get too clear. He'd been too complex, too vague. Seed had a bit of a difficult time drawing himself from his roots that morning, but he ultimately did, and now, having reviewed a few writing notes (There was a poem he'd written that could be cut into two smaller ones, and that smaller one could probably use a stronger syllabic backbone), headed over to Nyra's tent. He waved a small distance off, a faint smile on his face. Well, she was welcome to chew him out, he supposed. She looked nervous, though... Maybe what he ought to do is be relaxed, until she felt comfortable. As he was pondering this, he drew to a decent conversational distance. "Good day, Nyra. You wanted to speak with me?" He regretted not bringing over his teaset, because that would probably make this smoother. Could he ask? Well, it was her invitation. He'd just keep an opportunity open, and instead, folded his arms behind his back like someone waiting for something.

[12:57 PM] NethaEmerald: She didn't notice Seed coming towards her until he said something. When he did, she put a finger on the spot where she stopped, looked up with a small smile, and responded "Ah, yes. I did. Though i'd prefer it in a more... private place away from the camp. Would rather not face any distractions like people trying to snoop into the conversation." When she was done talking, she pulled out a tiny slip of paper and put it between the open pages and closed the book. "Did you want to do or get anything else beforehand?" She asked.

[1:04 PM] LadyDeme: Seed paused and considered what would be a private place -- the disadvantage of being so loosely-attached to shelter, was that he didn't tend to carry privacy with him. Still, there was a window, at least. "Well, I'm not sure of a private place, but if you'd like, we could talk over tea. Preparing it and drinking it would certainly help put my nerves at ease." He resigned himself, with a smile, to the worry of the moment; perhaps it was nothing significance. Perhaps she just wanted to scold him for being so delicate and move on to brighter things. That would be nice.
"Do you have a place in mind?"

[1:14 PM] NethaEmerald: "I do actually have a place in mind. A small clearing in some trees away from camp. I'm looking to just be away from others more than upmost privacy. Tea does sound lovely, though." She says with a smile. She wasn't sure what Seed would be thinking here, but she hoped that it would be good.

[1:24 PM] LadyDeme: "Very well. One moment," Seed nodded and hurried off, returning a few minutes later with a small tea set that he often used while travelling, featuring a steaming teapot and a pair of cups on a small tray (with a jar of honey, he was aware he was serving to a Jera); here, he walked with a little bit of care, just a bit more slowly than usual. The smell of the tea was carried before him by a breeze, revealing it to be a lavender blend with something a little sweet to it; the wind rustled his leaves and caused his flowers to bob about him dreamily. "Sorry, it took longer than I might have expected. I thought brewing it there would take too long. Very well, lead the way." Having something to hold like this did make it seem less urgent, less daunting. Less like the thoughts swirling around his head were the case, which was always a help.

[4:15 PM] NethaEmerald: Nyrandisa waited as Seed went off to do his own thing. While he was away, she was mentally rehearsing what she was going to say and tell him. After all, she didn't want to stumble on her words too much. When the Florkana came back, the Jera smelt the tea blend and almost drooled. It was party in due to also seeing the honey he carried with his. Lastly, it was his bobbing flowers. They just looked to majestic. "Ah. No worries at all. I don't mind the wait for good tea." She remarked as she nodded to his request for her to lead the way. After the acknowledgement, she did indeed lead the way, fluttering so much as to not disrupt anything on the ground beneath her. When the clearing came into sight, the Jera reached into her slightly more bulky than normal robes and pulled out a cloth. She was prepared for something like this. Setting the cloth down, she motioned to Seed "You brought the tea, I brought the cloth. Now, let's have a seat."

[7:59 PM] LadyDeme: "Ah, a fine choice." Seed sat down on the extended cloth, setting down the tray between them. The Florkana poured a small amount of tea into his cup -- as his nose had suspected, the tea was properly steeped, and came out a deep golden brown as it pooled in the cup. He continued pouring the tea, first finishing off one of the decorated cups, and then the other. On the tray were a pair of small wooden spoons, and he used one of them to add a little honey to his own tea. "I'll leave you to sort out how much honey; if Suleiman's any indication, I'd likely undershoot if I guessed... Alright. What would you like to talk to me about?" By now, he could manage a calmer approach to that, having fully pushed down his own internal panic about someone needing to speak to him.(edited)

[8:08 PM] NethaEmerald: When offered the tea, Nyrandisa took some with a smile. She decided to taste the tea as-is with a small sip. Upon doing so... she realized that just a small bit of honey would be enough. She took just a small bit and stirred it in. After having a sip of the tea post-honey, the Jera looked to Seed and said "The tea is really good. Thank you. As for what I wanted to talk about... I want to know if you're upset with me at all. Lately, to me, it feels like i've screwed up a lot and only caused negative emotions from you. That is far from my intended goal. Knowing if I have or not is the first thing I want to know. Just to put me at ease so I won't worry as much about it. If I know what i'm doing right and wrong, it will be easier to communicate with you."

[8:41 PM] LadyDeme: Oh, was that it? That was easy. Seed held onto many things, but grudges weren't one of them. He sipped his tea, letting the strawberry flavor of the lavender-and-strawberry tea take a bit of the forefront. He did so like a fruit tea. "No, I'm not. I admit...I didn't do a good enough job of hiding that I felt bad about not being understood last night; I apologize. But I don't hold it against you; that was my fault. I may not always be good at understanding what other people need and do not need to hear to understand, so I ask that you listen carefully and do not be afraid to tell me when I'm being confusing. I will do my best, as well." He bowed his head politely, causing a little sway of the flowering branches about his crown.

[9:01 PM] NethaEmerald: "Well, I think some more clear explainations can help me to understand your intentions behind what you say and do better. I wasn't just talking about last night, though those events don't matter as you don't seem upset." Nyrandisa responded with. Taking a sip of her own tea, likely not as sweet as Seed's, she continued "Now, that was only one of the things I wanted to talk about. The others are... not as easy... because I want to know what you think of me. Don't worry though; i'll go into what I think of you today too." as a faintest blush started to form on her face.

[10:19 PM] LadyDeme: He nodded at the criticism, though a tinge of worry cropped up about his request. She had probably accepted it without saying anything, he assured himself...Or, he'd have to only, as he said, do the best he could, without foisting the responsibility onto others. The cup of tea warmed his hands, and he tried to reflect back on before -- in truth, he'd said all he knew how to say then. "I think I said what I wanted to about before, before...And what I thought of you then, and last night..." A little wry smile quirked his lips. This was probably not clear enough. He had to be direct. He lowered his head, the crown of his branches hiding his face, so that his eyes were shaded by billowy purple flowers and glossy green leaves. "...I worry about you, sometimes; I'd like to understand more about you, and to help you when I'm worried. I think you're a very good person, Nyra, and I'm glad to have you as a friend, and I'm really touched by what you said last night." ...Actually, what she thought of him today...Had her opinion changed since then? He couldn't quite make sense of it.(edited)

[10:33 PM] NethaEmerald: He... was touched? That wasn't quite what she expected to hear from him. Reagrdless, she took a quick sip of tea before coming back to say a few more things. "Well, being direct with me is the best way to make your worries known to me. So if you'll make strides to do that, I will digest what you say a little more to help alleviate some of those worries." She responded with a smile. "Nevertheless, glad to hear that some of my words last night touched you." Now it as time for her to go into how she thought of him... but what he said planted a worry seed inside of her. "Actually... what do you mean exactly by worried about me? Is there something i'm doing wrong? Is there something you'd like to know that I hadn't planned on discussing with you today?" Her thoughts on him were going to wait until those small things were addressed. After all, she didn't want to worry him more with how she would go about it if it was a cause for him to worry about her.

[10:47 PM] LadyDeme: "Thank you," he said. He sat back and tapped his chin with one finger, his eyes flickering back level from its lowered position -- in truth, even sitting, Seed was still above eye-level with her, but this way, with the green of his eyes visible as opposed to mostly their lids, made his thoughts seem less private. "...I don't mean it like that; there's nothing you're doing wrong, exactly. You once told me -- implied, really -- you're cold to your own desires. There are times I can see how alone you've been, and times when it feels you don't know how to trust the people here...And during those times, I worry for your well-being, or if you're really okay." He explained, shrugging a little. There were plenty of times when they talked that she'd said these things that concerned him -- frankly, a lot of people here worried him. Mars most of all, but from there it was just a descending staircase; Millie and the person she wished could be revived; Kiera and her son; Suleiman and his daughter... Most of them, he felt useless to do more than what he was already doing. But maybe not everyone. Mars had shown him that.(edited)

[11:15 PM] NethaEmerald: When Seed said that, she had forgotten she had come off that way once before to him. or maybe multiple times. The feelings of it coming into discussion were like an arrow through the heart. "Oh... that..." She mumbled first before clearing her throat to continue. "Well, yes. I have been alone for a good part of my life. Also hard to trust people easily when those you trusted most backstabbed you and left you on your own. I hoped I would have improved, though it seems not. But make no mistake. I'm not that cold to others. Just look at what happened with Mars. He has a lot of trust in me, and I do to him too. Relgia's another one. She's come to me for Dark Magic practice, and I helped her with that.." She took a sip of tea. "And probably most important of all to me in The Pack..." She looked away a little as her face felt warm. "... is you."

July 22, 2018

[9:28 PM] LadyDeme: It was a bit of a relief to hear he wasn't overstepping -- and it relaxed his spine and shoulders to hear she was making friends. Perhaps, little by little, things could improve for her. He sat a little more comfortably and just let the warmth of the cup of tea rest between his hands. "I'm glad you're making frie--" What. What was that? What. It took his brain a moment to work its way out of being very startled, and into understanding what was just said to him. It wasn't a bad startling -- probably, though his face for a moment was all mute incomprehension, like she'd just said she'd arrived from the moon and would be abducting him back there. But then the warmth crept back in, multiplying across his face. His smile burst into bloom over it, his eyes all old-coin gold with their green rims nearly sealed over with happiness. "... Thank you, that's very flattering to hear. I'm glad I could provide something to you."

[9:43 PM] NethaEmerald: "It seems he didn't fully understand... guess I need to listen to my advice to him about communicating with me." Nyrandisa thought to herself when he responded as he did. Make no mistake; she was very happy to see him very happy upon hearing what she had said to him. It also sounded like he was happy she was making some friends. She returned his warm smile with one of her own. However, she wasn't fully content with that. He needed to know how she really felt, even if it could be painful to her. Taking a small, shaky breath and bringing her hands to her chest, she continued to look at Seed as she said "That isn't all. I... think of you more than just a friend, Seed. I know I haven't made it that well known..." She took a moment to look down and collect herself. When the small respite in her words was done, she looked back up at Seed and continued. "...But I like you, Seed." She kept her eyes on him, waiting a response, and preparing mentally for his response. She was also regretting saying that to him so bluntly.

July 24, 2018

[9:32 PM] LadyDeme: Seed's world might have frozen in that moment. The leaves on the trees stopped moving in the wind; the birds ceased their songs. The clouds, never truly still, honestly seemed to freeze and hang suspended in crystal air. The smoke remained in a single curl. It was not just that he was startled -- his mind was racing so that the world seemed to grind to a halt. On the one hand, something in him rose up in a very tender, fluttery joy -- the first wingbeats of a butterfly, freshly-emerged and fully unfurled. To be liked...No, Seed's world had no place in it for a word like that, not in an affair of the heart! To be loved without hunting, praying, or seeking. To be loved seemingly like a bolt from the blue, the way he loved Marcia... though he'd never considered such a feeling for her, he wished to fling himself into her feelings wholeheartedly, seek to return them, relish in it, roll around in it like a hot bath! It was wonderful. Except for the parts where it wasn't. Why isn't it? he thought, as a sharp pain filled his chest. A face flashed in his mind as the tea's steam slowly began to shift in the air once more. The brief instant he had to consider his heart stretched out now, into a real quantity of time. Marcia's face...And...There was more to it than that, a knot that sat inside him, as he considered Nyra's face. No, he was waiting too long to say something. The illusion that he could simply sit here forever and understand that knot, understand her face, understand her face... Was it simply that he was unworthy of all their faces? You idiot, if no one knows that -- if only you know that -- isn't that what you've always wanted? Well, Marcia knows. And understand his face, too, which looked happy and sad all at once, like someone watching the last blossoms of spring tumble down.(edited)

[9:34 PM] LadyDeme: "I...I thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart." True. True. Now, just say you accept her feelings. Marcia's...Marcia's never going to love some neutered. That's over; your love will never move her. He pushed back the strands of leafy hair from his face, exposing more of the bittersweet edges to his expression. You won. "I'm very flattered...And very surprised, yes." A date, go on, prodded part of him. Isn't what you're thinking evil, Seed Viridius? Asked another voice in his heart. "I think I might be too surprised to have an answer right now. May I... think upon it, a while, and give you an answer then?" A part of him felt a wave of disgust rise up, though at what part of his decision -- how tempting her feelings were to him, like a ripe fruit; how now he balked away -- he didn't know. All he knew was that part of him went, Well, now you've ruined it. You had three seconds where someone thought they could love even a little bit of you, and you couldn't even do that right.(edited)

[11:13 PM] NethaEmerald: When Seed was lost in thoughts for a little while, Nyra was thinking about the situation too. Though perhaps a little too much. "What have you done? You've left him speechless, and it doesn't seem in a good way. He seems... confused. You just had to be curious. And the result? This. You will likely not get the answer you seek." She thought to herself. As soon as Seed started to speak up, she released herself from the inner thoughts of her own and listened carefully, with raced heartbeats. She dared not say a word until he was done talking. "Wait... thank you? Very flattered? Surprised..." Her new thoughts were happy at first, but quickly turned into worry. Had she truly in fact done something wrong? Wanting an answer, she responded with a smile "I'm glad you feel that way. Warms my heart to hear those words, Seed." However, the smile soon started to fade. "I do agree that it is rather sudden. I... just couldn't keep it in any longer. The longer I wait on something, the worse it becomes. Though it also feels like I messed something up here... but if you need some time to think about it; go for it. I do urge you to talk to someone about it, though. You seem confused about something. As do I." She kept a faint smile on, not even hiding the little amount of worry that she had about the situation.

July 27, 2018

[9:55 AM] LadyDeme: "You didn't mess anything up," he said, certainly. His eyes rose to catch her, serious and intent. "When you love someone, wanting to tell them burns up in you a little; I can't say I've ever expected a feeling I had to be returned, but the longer I waited, the less I found it mattered; the more simply the weight of the love mattered, the moment of letting it stir the air. It springs -- brought to life as Galatea, perfect and complete unto eternity!" He spoke with sudden passion, the words flowing out of him from somewhere in the depths of his heart, his face and voice animated, pouring out into his shoulders, loose, and his gestures, broad. Here grave, here buoyant and overjoyed. Ending, ultimately, on a peaceful smile; thinking of love in the abstract, or even at times in the specific, put his heart at ease. It was this action he was uncertain of... And, having said that, he felt a little twinge of unease. Would he betraying all that? "I applaud you... No, I think my answer is something I must consider...I will speak to someone, if I think I need to." Seed rose up to his feet, feeling that, if he stayed here too long after that confession, it would get awkward. "Would it be alright if I pondered my response privately, for a bit, or would you like me to stay on-hand a while longer?"

[10:16 AM] NethaEmerald: She thought about everything he said carefully. What she wanted right now was far different from how things had actually panned out with Seed, but she had to deal with the cards she had been dealt. Fiinishing up her tea so she could give the stuff back to Seed, she responded with "I understand that. However, the burning up inside was becoming a little too much. It's never good to keep things bottled up inside you forever. Regardless, it really does sound like you need some time to think about it. You've stated that multiple times. And i've learned that if someone says it multiple times, they mean it, meaning your decision on it is likely made up already." She slowly rose from sitting down on the cloth. "OH! But before you go, I wanted to let you know something. I've been working on turning that Jeran folk tale about the Jera who travelled the world into a book. This way that maybe the story can spread around if more copies of the book are made, or given to someone who will be around for a long time." She had informed him, to hopefully lighten the mood and make it less awkard... or more.

[10:31 AM] LadyDeme: He lowered his head a little, sheepishly. He'd gone too far. Too fine. He'd totally lost her. It had been as natural as breathing, without any affectation -- and yet, it roiled up another round of back and forth, another big stab of loathing at himself. "...I...I was agreeing with you already, about what a wonderful thing telling someone is, what a release. But... Thank you. For your patience. I want what I want -- I don't think I can have what I want -- I think it'd be wrong to have what I want -- I think it'd only be right to have what I want. I don't understand what would make me happy, make you happy... I mean, have you even given a thought to...Um. Well. The... The physical realities, so to speak, of having a romantic relationship with a Florkana? I think a rather lot about this sort of thing, and I need to think if I'd accept putting someone through that once more, whatever your answer to it now. I need to think on all of it. I'm sorry, we've already agreed I should. I'll --" Seed answered, getting deeper and deeper into it, his voice once again taking on the tones of his poetry, the points unspooling like a ball of yarn, here and there and everywhere, and he gestured to them as if they could, like love of Galatea, become living things in the world if he blocked out the space and spoke to them. Because there was the bare minimum of it, the stuff he'd have to get into -- later -- he couldn't say it clearly if he couldn't think it clearly. He was glad for her love, happy for it; he was sure of that, except it all made him feel so knotted and gnarled up, too. The specific example chosen clearly made him a little flushed. ...It almost caught him off-guard when she switched subject, but he gamely tried to sort out what expression to wear on his face, falling back into a smile. "That's wonderful. I know some good copiers that may help you out; I have to do a lot of this sort of thing for my work, you understand. I'll write down their names for you."(edited)

[10:31 AM] LadyDeme: And, feeling he had done not at all right by her, he reached up and picked one of his flowers, wincing for just an instant at the tug, which came away -- ah, there we are -- with a decent, clean stem. This, he reached a long, twiggy-fingered hand over to her, and tucked deftly in her hair, adding a paler pop amid its darkness. "... I really do applaud your effort; and I'm so grateful, so glad, that you chose to love me... Before this flower's done wilting, I should have my answer." He bowed, and waved, and picked up his tea supplies -- save her cup, if she wished to finish it, because she would surely return it. And he returned back to the camp, his mood a tempestuous sea.(edited)

[12:49 PM] NethaEmerald: When he went on a lot about what's and wants. However, she understood what he was getting at. "I have given it some thought. I understand your point of view, but perhaps you're putting too much thought into it. For every problem there is a solution, and I'm sure those solutions can be found. I wouldn't have said what I did if I wasn't prepared to deal with it." When he spoke about copiers for the story, she nodded and responded with "That would be nice once it is done. It still needs some work done to it still. And as for the flower?" She took the flower and held it close. "I will hold you to your word, Seed. Anyways, you can take the cu-" Before she was done taking, Seed was already gone. She kept quiet to herself and packed up the cloth. She was worried about what he would say, but at least she felt better now. Now wasn't the time to delve too deep mentally into it.

[12:49 PM] NethaEmerald: ==RP End==